It wasn't until I had a diagnosis of bipolar that certain incidents from my childhood memories and conversations with my mother pointed to a life time of difficulty with the this illness. Some of it may have been child hood fits , but they were extreme manic driven forces. Over small things, I would freak and my mom could not get me under control. This started when I was like 3 or 4 over nothing normal to be upset over. I can remember a rage I could not understand taking hold of me and not liking raging over something I actually liked and did not want to be angry about. I felt taken over by a force. I was so young I did not have any idea, but my Mom recalls that she had not seen anything like it and did not get it.. Just shut me in my room until it was over. I had supernatural strength and it went on and on. This happened about once a year for about 4 years and then when I was in about first grade subsided. There must have been some depression to have mania like that also. I was a quiet and shy child and who would notice depression in a child like that unless to the extreme. Who ever even thought of depression, mania or bipolar for that matter way back in early 60's. My bipolar sort of slipped in remission waiting to be awakened when the right conditions of the petri dish would revive it. This is what form I believe it took. Biblical discipline may have helped me.Trust and faith in God, but though my mom was a Christian she did not believe any wisdom from the bible. I will never know how my path may have been bettered by trust in God and application of the rod and reproof way back then could have helped me. There were no books like I have included here. A balance of mental, physical and spiritual may have abated many sorrows I would face later in life? Maybe someday God will reveal this, but for now I believe he has used it my whole life to good in spite of how it could have and should have been dealt with,
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