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Showing posts with label Jesus Christ. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesus Christ. Show all posts
Wednesday
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Beginnings Of Bipolar (Bipolar Blast # 5)
I believe I have had bipolar symptoms since I was little. My first memories and my mom confirms and has elaborated on this.
I was like 3 years old. I do not know what the occasion was but my grandmother gave me a beautiful wrapped present. I felt panicked and overwhelmed for some reason. I opened the present. It was a beautiful teal colored sweater and though I loved it and really wanted to be glad and happy, I went off screaming and tantrum throwing. I remember thinking it was an overwhelming force inside I could not control and I did not want to be acting so mean to my grandma whom I really loved. I was being driven. I cried and screamed, but did not want to be like that. My mom shut me up in my room until I could be under control. I was so ashamed. I think Biblically I needed a spanking, but my mom was not into doing things the Bible way totally.
My mom has told me and I kind of remember-though this first memory is more clear. That this happened in my young child hood out of blue during and occasion where I seemed happy then would be out of my mind and my mom never understood the whys? Now as I have thought over these happenings, I needed dealt with biblically first off-(but the blast part comes in with my gracious loving heavenly Father molding me with how he saw fit and it is beautiful- the chastening he has dished out.)-who knows if I had been raised in more Christian manner- I may not be where I am today to help and minister to others if I had been raised more perfectly. I do not know the end of another path. God has always known best.
I was born from an unwed 17 year old mom. My siblings from her 1/2 brothers and sisters are unsaved. I was adopted and my mom of adoption did her best unknowing much bible though she went to church and took me.
I should have been chastened, but water under the bridge.
Know one really knew about bipolar then. I had a brain that was prone to extreme emotional instability. I believe I had mania symptoms which became anxiety and caused panic when I was extremely excited back than even in childhood.
God saw me and one day he would:
You found me
In a shallow grave
You dragged me out from beneath it all
You healed me
Saved me
In the nick of time
Your perfect time- From Newsboys :"Devotion."
I was like 3 years old. I do not know what the occasion was but my grandmother gave me a beautiful wrapped present. I felt panicked and overwhelmed for some reason. I opened the present. It was a beautiful teal colored sweater and though I loved it and really wanted to be glad and happy, I went off screaming and tantrum throwing. I remember thinking it was an overwhelming force inside I could not control and I did not want to be acting so mean to my grandma whom I really loved. I was being driven. I cried and screamed, but did not want to be like that. My mom shut me up in my room until I could be under control. I was so ashamed. I think Biblically I needed a spanking, but my mom was not into doing things the Bible way totally.
My mom has told me and I kind of remember-though this first memory is more clear. That this happened in my young child hood out of blue during and occasion where I seemed happy then would be out of my mind and my mom never understood the whys? Now as I have thought over these happenings, I needed dealt with biblically first off-(but the blast part comes in with my gracious loving heavenly Father molding me with how he saw fit and it is beautiful- the chastening he has dished out.)-who knows if I had been raised in more Christian manner- I may not be where I am today to help and minister to others if I had been raised more perfectly. I do not know the end of another path. God has always known best.
I was born from an unwed 17 year old mom. My siblings from her 1/2 brothers and sisters are unsaved. I was adopted and my mom of adoption did her best unknowing much bible though she went to church and took me.
I should have been chastened, but water under the bridge.
Know one really knew about bipolar then. I had a brain that was prone to extreme emotional instability. I believe I had mania symptoms which became anxiety and caused panic when I was extremely excited back than even in childhood.
God saw me and one day he would:
In a shallow grave
You dragged me out from beneath it all
You healed me
Saved me
In the nick of time
Your perfect time- From Newsboys :"Devotion."
Tuesday
Brag on My God.
Can I ever get enough.? Would I ever praise you enough? . My everything and source of delight. No words can express all you are to me in my life. you are the wellspring of my desire, my life ,my way, my purpose, my need. My favorite song ever expresses how I feel concerning you:
I’m the one with two left feet Standing on a lonely street I can’t even walk a straight line And every time you look at me I’m spinning like an autumn leaf Bound to hit bottom sometime Where would I be without someone to save me Someone who won’t let me fall You are everything that I live for Everything that I can’t believe is happening You’re standing right in front of me With arms wide open All I know is Every day is filled with hope You are everything that I believe for And I can’t help but breathe you in Breathe again Feeling all this life within Every single beat of my heart I’m the one with big mistakes Big regrets and bigger breaks Than I ever care to confess Oh but, You’re the one who looks at me And sees what I was meant to be More than just a beautiful mess You are everything that I live for Everything that I can’t believe is happening You’re standing right in front of me With arms wide open All I know is Every day is filled with hope You are everything that I believe for And I can’t help but breathe you in Breathe again Feeling all this life within Every single beat of my heart You’re everything good in my life Everything honest and true And all of those stars hanging up in the sky Could never shine brighter than You You are everything that I live for Everything that I can’t believe is happening You’re standing right in front of me With arms wide open All I know is Every day is filled with hope You are everything that I believe for And I can’t help but breathe you in Breathe again Feeling all this life within Every single beat of my heart You are You are Jesus, You are You are everythinghttp:
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About the creator of this blog.
- Blogging with Adventure
- Springfield, Missouri, United States
- Love dipping my mind, hands and feet into about anything that is pure clean and crisp. 5 kids, some out of the nest and married, some at home. Live on a small rural farm with 2 dogs: one poodle and one boogle. 17 chickens so far, but eggs are setting. One guinea fowl. 2 adorable pekin ducks. 1 beautiful goose and a pond load of fish. But my name is not Old McDonald. Married for 26 years to my sweetheart.