Ignore the Face Book badge.

I must take time to tweak. The pictures on it yesterday were great,(FACEBOOK badge) but has changed to pictures I posted on  witness to Catholics group. I do not want to hassle figuring this out. Ugh. Please ignore the wizard behind the curtain.  Just Another thing now I need to do on computer and not enough time to do it in. I am not wanting to advertise for RCC. Horrified and ashamed. lol


Beginnings Of Bipolar (Bipolar Blast # 5)

I believe I have had bipolar symptoms since I was little.  My first memories and my mom confirms and has elaborated on this.
I was like 3 years old. I do not know what the occasion was but my grandmother gave me a beautiful wrapped present. I felt panicked and overwhelmed for some reason. I opened the present. It was a beautiful teal colored sweater and though I loved it and really wanted to be glad and happy, I went off screaming and tantrum throwing. I remember thinking it was an overwhelming force inside I could not control and I did not want to be acting so mean to my grandma whom I really loved. I was being driven. I cried and screamed, but did not want to be like that. My mom shut me up in my room until I could be under control. I was so ashamed. I think Biblically I needed a spanking, but my mom was not into doing things the Bible way totally.

My mom has told me and I kind of remember-though this first memory is more clear. That this happened in my young child hood out of blue during and occasion where I seemed happy then would be out of my mind and my mom never understood the whys? Now as I have thought over these happenings, I needed dealt with biblically first off-(but the blast part comes in with my gracious loving heavenly Father molding me with how he saw fit and it is beautiful- the chastening he has dished out.)-who knows if I had been raised in more Christian manner- I may not be where I am today to help and minister to others if I had been raised more perfectly. I do not know the end of another path. God has always known best.
I was born from an unwed 17 year old mom. My siblings from her 1/2 brothers and sisters are unsaved. I was adopted and my mom of adoption did her best unknowing much bible though she went to church and took me.
I should have been chastened, but water under the bridge.
Know one really knew about bipolar then. I had a brain that was prone to extreme emotional instability. I believe I had mania symptoms which became anxiety and caused panic when I was extremely excited back than even in childhood. 
God saw me and one day he would:
You found me
In a shallow grave
You dragged me out from beneath it all
You healed me
Saved me
In the nick of time
Your perfect time- From Newsboys :"Devotion."

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About the creator of this blog.

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Springfield, Missouri, United States
Love dipping my mind, hands and feet into about anything that is pure clean and crisp. 5 kids, some out of the nest and married, some at home. Live on a small rural farm with 2 dogs: one poodle and one boogle. 17 chickens so far, but eggs are setting. One guinea fowl. 2 adorable pekin ducks. 1 beautiful goose and a pond load of fish. But my name is not Old McDonald. Married for 26 years to my sweetheart.