Beginnings Of Bipolar (Bipolar Blast # 5)

I believe I have had bipolar symptoms since I was little.  My first memories and my mom confirms and has elaborated on this.
I was like 3 years old. I do not know what the occasion was but my grandmother gave me a beautiful wrapped present. I felt panicked and overwhelmed for some reason. I opened the present. It was a beautiful teal colored sweater and though I loved it and really wanted to be glad and happy, I went off screaming and tantrum throwing. I remember thinking it was an overwhelming force inside I could not control and I did not want to be acting so mean to my grandma whom I really loved. I was being driven. I cried and screamed, but did not want to be like that. My mom shut me up in my room until I could be under control. I was so ashamed. I think Biblically I needed a spanking, but my mom was not into doing things the Bible way totally.

My mom has told me and I kind of remember-though this first memory is more clear. That this happened in my young child hood out of blue during and occasion where I seemed happy then would be out of my mind and my mom never understood the whys? Now as I have thought over these happenings, I needed dealt with biblically first off-(but the blast part comes in with my gracious loving heavenly Father molding me with how he saw fit and it is beautiful- the chastening he has dished out.)-who knows if I had been raised in more Christian manner- I may not be where I am today to help and minister to others if I had been raised more perfectly. I do not know the end of another path. God has always known best.
I was born from an unwed 17 year old mom. My siblings from her 1/2 brothers and sisters are unsaved. I was adopted and my mom of adoption did her best unknowing much bible though she went to church and took me.
I should have been chastened, but water under the bridge.
Know one really knew about bipolar then. I had a brain that was prone to extreme emotional instability. I believe I had mania symptoms which became anxiety and caused panic when I was extremely excited back than even in childhood. 
God saw me and one day he would:

You found me
In a shallow grave
You dragged me out from beneath it all
You healed me
Saved me
In the nick of time
Your perfect time- From Newsboys :"Devotion."

Bipolar Blast #3 Childhood's Beginnings

It wasn't until I had a diagnosis of bipolar that certain incidents from my childhood memories and conversations with my mother pointed to a life time of difficulty with the this illness. Some of it may have been child hood fits , but they were extreme manic driven forces. Over small things, I would freak and my mom could not get me under control. This started when I was like 3 or 4 over nothing normal to be upset over. I can remember a rage I could not understand taking hold of me and not liking raging over something I actually liked and did not want to be angry about. I felt taken over by a force. I was so young I did not have any idea, but my Mom recalls that she had not seen anything like it and did not get it.. Just shut me in my room until it was over. I had supernatural strength and it went on and on. This happened about once a year for about 4 years and then when I was in about first grade subsided. There must have been some depression to have mania like that also. I was a quiet and shy child and who would notice depression in a child like that unless to the extreme. Who ever even thought of depression, mania or bipolar for that matter way back in early 60's. My bipolar sort of slipped in remission waiting to be awakened when the right conditions of the petri dish would revive it. This is what form I believe it took. Biblical discipline may have helped me.Trust and faith in God, but though my mom was a Christian she did not believe any wisdom from the bible. I will never know how my path may have been bettered by trust in God and application of the rod and reproof way back then could have helped me.  There were no books like I have included here. A balance of mental, physical and spiritual may have abated many sorrows I would face later in life? Maybe someday God will reveal this, but for now I believe he has used it my whole life to good in spite of how it could have and should have been dealt with,