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Thursday

Others May, You Cannot/ Bipolar Blast #1

Trying to let God have all of me right now. Went through the fir this morning on my biblical stand and am full of anxiety because of it. I posted this on FB. I really get tired of Christians with no problems or they will not admit to any. No medical issues when I have so many afflictions, but at the same time God has so many good things about being blessed by affliction especially in the Psalms that I cannot help shout for joy in His name any way. Yesterday dealing with case manager I have to have for my meds has really sent me in tailspin. You all out there aught to give it a whirl lol Yes ,I take meds. I remember when I did not and sat in judgement of Christians that did such things. God showed me with chastening to get off my high horse when I ended up in psychosis. I used to have a tract that said others may you cannot. You cannot judge them unless you walked in their shoes, so he brought me down with the king of Babylon- Nebuchadnezzar. Others May, but you cannot he says. You will be gold tried in my fire and come forth as a jewel in my crown in heaven. Your own family will turn on you at times, let alone the friends and "good" christian brethren. It is not always like that and some of it is my own reaping. But with my manic side of bipolar or my choleric personality this is what I felt today:

I am just me, not afraid to fight Paul over chiefest of sinners spot. Un ashamed and unafraid to admit I have struggles and am imperfect. I try to walk in the spirit, but and do fall and stumble, but Jesus loves me and it is on his grace I stand, not by the will of any man, or you should , or you should not. Or you are too mean, Or your bathroom is not perfect or you are too sensitive, . Stop the emulations. Stop trying to make me into your image of a door mat or robot. I am not directing this post at any individual. I love you all on here. My God understands when no one else does. I am just sick of pretend land. Think I will post this on my blog. lol forgive me while I rant.
Now turn the feeling into faith for His Honor and His glory. Amen.

1 comment:

  1. Just as Paul said to Timothy, 1 Timothy 5:23
    "Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities," There are times when we need to do things that help us, on the advice of people we trust, even when others claim it is wrong. Praying for you.

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Springfield, Missouri, United States
Love dipping my mind, hands and feet into about anything that is pure clean and crisp. 5 kids, some out of the nest and married, some at home. Live on a small rural farm with 2 dogs: one poodle and one boogle. 17 chickens so far, but eggs are setting. One guinea fowl. 2 adorable pekin ducks. 1 beautiful goose and a pond load of fish. But my name is not Old McDonald. Married for 26 years to my sweetheart.